The past month or so has been four to five weeks of hell, with research papers, finals, you know. Additionally, there's a boatload of personal and emotional crap that decided to dock all at once at the worst academic time ever. (Maybe I will go into more detail with this later on...)
The good news is I'm about to embark on a huge trip to Europe- the biggest excursion I've ever taken. It'll be for about the entire month of June- Rome, Verona, Venice, Munich and Mathausen, Vienna, Prague, Berlin, Amsterdam, London, and then finally Paris (ah, Edith!). I'll try to update as often as possible- but don't count on it. This time, I'll actually have an excuse for being away from this blog.
(From the process of packing up at school, unpacking at home, and packing again for Europe- I have way too much clothing. I've donated a lot and that makes me feel good. Some girl is getting a kick ass pair of shoes somewhere.)
This really couldn't have come at a better time for a big trip- 2011 hasn't been completely horrid to me (maybe I'm just too positive), but it has been quite an emotional rocket so far. And me? Feel? What? Anything that can make me cry is either really good or really bad, and I don't think any of this falls into the good category: A heartbreak that was a long time coming, a friend going off to Afghanistan, multiple deaths of people through people (it's getting closer to me, which I'm not a fan of), a Holocaust class (enlightening, but depressing- I look at war and life and death and other things so differently now)... and it didn't come here and there sporadically, it came in droves and lasted for weeks until recently. Needless to say, I'm excited to get out of the States for a while, get away from all of this, and do what I do best: learn.
(I'm a history nerd. Woodrow Wilson was the man. I like to ignore the allegations that he was a racist and that he supported "The Birth of a Nation.")
WWII is a ridiculously important and heavy part of history. It's humanity at its worst and finest. I can't explain my appreciation or attraction for it, but I can say that I am doubly excited to visit its landmarks and whatnot when I go across the pond. It's really hard to describe how I was enlightened by the Holocaust class- but I most certainly was. It takes a specific kind of education and training to look at the Holocaust as both a tragic and beautiful time (the two often go hand in hand), to gain that appreciation for humanity and its skill and I'm lucky to have had that. I don't think I had sufficient training in high school; but I have now. I don't think people understand how much the world changed, how much humans changed, how much was taken away, (but at the same time) how much was given.
As for my class, we were also lucky enough to get a personal tour of the Holocaust museum from a survivor a few weeks ago. Zing! Talk about mind-blowing. One of the most amazing days of my life, though sad. I feel incredibly blessed to be legitimately connected to such an intricate part of history. It was a hard, hard class to get through- but absolutely necessary for the preservation of life and character. I would encourage a serious study of the Holocaust for any prepared adult. I'm not talking about textbooks, but videos and personal accounts; I'm talking about Primo Levi and Charlotte Delbo, the poetic prose of Art Spiegelman, Abraham Lewin, and Josef Zelkowicz. It is enough to make anyone truly realize the limits of the body and the strength of mind.
After receiving a special letter in the mail, I just thought and thought about the subject of war and its history (also propelled by my Holocaust class and the overwhelming presence of Navy, Marine, Army, whatever personnel in the city this week- Fleet Week 2011, patriotism sings and ladies' underwear fall off). I never thought I would be anywhere near it, but it's in my face now. It's amazing to think of what is going on at the other side of the world. Here, all I see are Facebook posts about what someone will have for breakfast or complaining about classes or generic work place- meanwhile there are people maturing in ways I can only imagine. There are thousands of people I don't know overseas, who are serving a purpose and making a difference for the benefit of people they don't know.
Yeah, I said it. Your work place is only so big and only affects X amount of people. Shame on you.
This isn't a pro-war statement by any means, just a declaration of recognition- yes, I know what's going on and I appreciate the service. You don't have to be pro-war to join armed services, you don't have to be pro-war to support them. But they should be appreciated. What they are doing is making a difference. I can't say so much for the marketing guy or the airbrush specialist.
As for war itself? I don't support it, but I will say that though war is ugly, it is inevitable. People can protest all they want; it's still going to happen. I'm going to get all English MA on you: it was Walter Benjamin that said "Without conflict, there can be no history" or something along those lines. (Whatever, the message is the same. Semester is over, I'm allowed.) Absolutely true. History does not exist without the subject of conflict. And those good times in history? Came out of conflict. Enlightenment in the 18th century would not have happened if France and England hadn't been duking it out. Famine, plague, and- you guessed it- war led to the Renaissance. And World War II and McCarthyism brought us out of the Depression, into what? Booming industries, the framework for feminism, utopias in the 50s, hippies in the 60s, and the civil rights movements. Gnarly. Like it or not, war does benefit; and I hate the idea of it, but it happens.
Every coin has two sides- the Holocaust taught me that and gave me its true meaning. I've always leaned towards the idea of balance, as so much of the world is based on it (though people rarely realize) and it was only recently that I firmly glued myself in that philosophy. Without getting all chatty on you (I think this is long enough really), I'll stay simple: we cannot recognize beauty without the tragedy, the ugly; the same goes for good and evil, life and death, black and white, Harry Potter and Voldemort, Jedi and the Sith. One must exist for the other to. We must not reject the negative, but if we are to desire the positive, we must accept it; it does not mean we must support it. Desire means movement and change. Change means conflict of all sizes. Conflict means history. It is a universal, never-ending cycle. We can only learn from it.
I'm going to try and update often on my trip... Here's some things for the summer I'll be working on too:
Harry (Potter), Don't Surf
How "Black Hawk Down" Got Screwed Over In Every Way Possible
Why "Hunchback of Notre Dame" Should Be A Broadway Musical
Why "The Ultimate Fighter: Season 13" Sucked Hard
I Love "The Lord of the Rings"
... and more.
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