Don't judge. There is such a thing as a logical, proper rebound.

Did you know that I apparently have a masculine mentality of a thirty two year old woman?

First things off: I'm not going to pretend I am a completely innocent woman; and my admittance of that and the following (as well as my super-classy presentation, might I say) sets me apart from the majority of peers/members of both sexes. Perhaps it is my unwavering, unfailing faith in that cliched phrase, "The facts speak for themselves"; or it could be attributed to my acknowledgment, not denial, of said-facts. Whatever the case, understand that I attempt to be as logical and as reasonable as possible; in 75% of situations, I believe that personal emotions can actually hamper sympathy and detract form the truth.

Not this kind.

Back to the title: Contrary to popular belief, rebounds are not entirely useless; in fact, they are more helpful than people give them credit for. They are often misunderstood, misused devices, mostly when it is not realized or acknowledged as such. A rebound can be used to one's advantage; but it needs to be recognized and not denied for its full effect to work.

Yes, I had one recently (not a "full" one by some standards), and it was needed. I will try to explain as much as I can so some people do not get the wrong impression of me (i.e. judge me as something I am not because they do not truly know me or the circumstances which surround said-rebound). I am aware that people will always judge; it is a natural instinct I cannot prevent. However, what I can do is explain myself as honestly as possible so that, for the right people, the quality of human understanding (that I believe so strongly in) can take precedence over the urge to jump to conclusions (something I also like to call "stirring the pot).

If you have been following this blog (I know, it's hard when I update so little), you would know that 2011 and I aren't BFF. Forever clouding over the more important subjects I should be worrying about is the victimization of my personal life, better known as four years of romantic hell that suddenly decides to rampage my life when I think I'm in the clear. When my semester ended, I boarded a plane for Rome and proceeded to have the best month of my life.

My ultimate goal on the trip was to enjoy life and other people, on my own, as I have for so long- however, I had forgotten how. Prior to this, I had been forced to experience how someone can bring my entire morale down and my subsequent attitude towards life and others was incredibly negative. Any sort of learning and experience I prided myself on was suddenly shattered.

We, as people, base our lives on our connections to one another, always desire for feel needed and wanted, the constant pressure of companionship (not necessarily romantic). I feel that over the past few years and in my maturity into a woman, I have become reasonably (an much more swiftly than others) independent, confident, patient, motivated, ambitious, and straightforward in my emotions and relationships. In finding myself in the unfamiliar state of vulnerability, I admit, I welcomed that feeling of being needed and wanted. Enter rebound.

I knew what it was. I took it for what it was. I was not looking to completely fill a void, because (despite what Cosmo tells you) people never really heal. I did not search for something more. I did not look to replace, but rather substitute.

Is it what I needed? Yes. However, by no means did I want to keep it: the rebound-relationship did its job though it was nothing terribly special and there was nothing about it that I would feel compelled to explore further. Though it may not have been spectacularly, intellectually ideal or interesting, the superficial and purely physical (ahem, not that physical, you pervs) and ridiculously frivolous distracted me for a good amount of days which was what I was looking for.

I understand it is this exact admittance of meaninglessness and lacking purpose is what people may find confusing and wrong; but it would be worse of me to claim that I was searching for something long-lasting and that I had found it, when I definitely had not. List of given circumstances: my wrecked state of mind, a quite uncomfortable age gap (of mostly mental integrity and maturity), and the most unreasonable of distances. It would be blasphemy if suddenly, I were willing to look over these things; I never have and I never will make exceptions: if the signs in the jungle point to a tiger, I'd rather take the time to find the ones that point to a village. To hope for perfect companionship would have been entirely unreasonable and unfair. Truthfully, I am grateful for the many imperfections this particular person had because it was much easier to let go than had I become attached.

For short bursts, I forgot about the previous relationships; and when I now look upon it, it does hurt less. Why? Through my adventures and meetings of new people, I was reminded of my belief of the human race's nonstop search for companionship with each other, paired with my firm disbelief in soul mates. My happiness, my misery, does not depend on just one entity. My feminine mentality and my independence was finally returned to me and I am happy for it. I was able to regain my womanly integrity and strength that I have worked to hard to build. My motivation to find what I want in and from people has returned.

In admitting my reasons, actions, and after-effects of a rebound, what does that make me? It is so hard to judge a good explanation, though it seems to happen often.

For the person who did judge me as "like that," (which I'm sure most of us know the connotations): you clearly do not know me. What did you think I was like then? You do not know my philosophies and theories, my firm hand on my own morals and values and why I have them. You cannot ignorantly judge those who you do not even try to know; this is a treason against logic and what makes us human. I have tried as often as possible to get to know people without judging them; but this is difficult when it is not reciprocated, especially by the rudest and most obscene of people. Nevertheless, I find myself sometimes defending those who have most wrongly offended me; perhaps I put too much faith in the simplest of people, which only further demonstrates patience and willingness to learn over stupidity. It is situations like these that show people's true colors. Those who unfairly judge will never be considered our true friends simply because they do not attempt to understand a person's core at it's most honest and vulnerable state; but this only does an injustice to themselves as they are detached from the compassionate essence of humanity.