Hey, I'm from the HFPA, would you like an award for some film you made?

Now that it's close to the end of the year and all the movies that matter have premiered, those people who dole out statues have come out of hiding. And there are some terrible names in there. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association (Golden Globes) always manage to make a fool of themselves, mostly with everything being separated into "Comdey/Musical" and "Drama," allowing the chance for two predictions for the Academy Awards; the SAGs cleaned a bit of that up, and I'm hoping the BAFTAs and subsequently the Academy Awards make up for it as well. Lets just take a look at what we have so far:

Best Supporting Actress
Golden Globes: Penelope Cruz (Nine); Vera Farminga (Up In The Air); Anna Kendrick (Up In The Air); Julianne Moore (A Single Man); Mo'Nique (Precious)
SAG: Penelope Cruz (Nine); Vera Farminga (Up In The Air); Anna Kendrick (Up In The Air); Diane Kruger (Inglourious Basterds); Mo'Nique (Precious)
What?: Diane Kruger? What is this fascination with Penelop Cruz? Vera Farminga, really? Number one, where the hell is Melanie Laurent? If anyone (aside from Christoph Waltz) deserved a nomination, it is the lovely Laurent, who far outshone everyone (including you, Helen of Troy).No Rachel Weisz? No Amy Adams? I know the GG loves the pretty people- I would prefer to see Rachel McAdams be recognized instead of Farminga. This is kinda disappointing.

Best Supporting Actor
Golden Globes: Matt Damon (Invictus); Woody Harrelson (The Messenger); Christopher Plummer (The Last Station); Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones); Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds)
SAG: Matt Damon (Invictus); Woody Harrelson (The Messenger); Christopher Plummer (The Last Station); Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones); Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds)
What?: I actually really like this one. What sucks is that Christoph Waltz will obliterate everyone, he's just THAT good in IB. As much as I love Woody Harrelson, awards people seem to not. That makes me a sad camper. I wouldn't have argued if Sam Worthington (Avatar, Terminator: Salvation) had made his way onto the list somehow. He's pretty good.

Best Actress
Golden Globes (Musical or Comedy): Sandra Bullock (The Proposal); Marion Cotillard (Nine); Julia Roberts (Duplicity); Meryl Streep (It's Complicated); Meryl Streep (Julie and Julia)
Golden Globes (Drama): Emily Blunt (The Young Victoria); Sandra Bullock (Blind Side); Helen Mirren (The Last Station); Carey Mulligan (An Education); Gabourey Sidebe (Precious)
SAG: Sandra Bullock (Blind Side); Helen Mirren (The Last Station); Carey Mulligan (An Education); Gabourey Sidebe (Precious); Meryl Streep (Julie and Julia)
What?: The multiple nominations of Sandra Bullock make me nauseous. Meryl Streep, I can understand, but Bullock? Really? Julia Roberts hasn't made a good film in how long? Good job in playing favorites. Space fillers much? I hope you have a nice gift bag for this event. Saoirse Ronan from the Lovely Bones. Zooey Deschanel from 500 Days of Summer. I'm surprised that no one kissed Hillary Swank's butt this year. Emily Blunt needs more praise. As does Cotillard. Anna Mouglalis for Coco Chanel and Igor Stravinsky.

Best Actor
Golden Globes (Musical or Comedy): Matt Damon (The Informant!); Daniel Day Lewis (Nine); Robert Downey Jr. (Sherlock Holmes); Joseph Gordon-Levitt (500 Days of Summer); Michael Stuhlbarg (A Serious Man)
Golden Globes (Drama): Jeff Bridges (A Crazy Heart); George Clooney (Up In The Air); Colin Firth (A Single Man); Morgan Freeman (Invictus); Toby Maguire (Brothers)
SAG: Jeff Bridges (A Crazy Heart); George Clooney (Up In The Air); Colin Firth (A Single Man); Morgan Freeman (Invictus); Jeremy Renner (Hurt Locker)
What?: Jeremy Renner should be nominated for The Hurt Locker in every single way possible- and win. I think it's brilliant that the Comdey/Musical category is more fun than the Drama category; Damon and Gordon-Levitt are just better. Mads Mikkelsen for Coco Chanel and Igor Stravinsky. Ben Foster for the Messenger. George Clooney is a terrbible actor. If he wins anything or is nominated for anything else, I might shoot myself. Toby is also equally bad. Colin Firth, YAY! Daniel Day, I think you lose this one. Morgan Freeman will probably walk away with everything important, because Nelson Mandela is cool. Also, two nominations for Bullock and Streep, but no love for Ryan Reynolds, Steve Martin, or Alec Baldwin? Blasphemy.

Best Director
Golden Globes: Kathryn Bigelow (Hurt Locker); James Cameron (Avatar); Clint Eastwood (Invictus); Jason Reitman (Up In The Air); Quentin Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds)
What?: Why James Cameron and not Neill Blomkamp? At least Rob Marshall isn't here. What about Up? I would love to see Bigelow win. The Hurt Locker was amazing.

Best Film
Golden Globes (Musical or Comedy): (500) Days of Summer; Nine; The Hangover; It's Complicated; Julie and Julia
Golden Globes (Drama): Avatar; Hurt Locker; Inglourious Basterds; Precious; Up In The Air
SAG (referred to as "Best Ensemble"): An Education; Hurt Locker; Precious; Nine; Inglourious Basterds
What?: Avatar? Really? Avatar, but not District 9? Maybe Cameron deserves recognition for the amount of work he put into Avatar, but as a whole, District 9 is such a perfectly paced, symbolic, well made film. Usually, anything with Peter Jackson's name deserves more praise than it gets. The GG loves to kiss ass pandering to favorites, such as the Weinsteins and Tarantino. Don't get me wrong, love the guys, but as the case was with Scorcese and The Departed, IB is not Tarantino's best work. I can understand why people are praising Tarantino, he is truly fantastic both stylistically and technically, but against The Hurt Locker? Hurt Locker is simply a better made and more meaningful as a whole. Without a doubt. I love that the Hangover was recognized- instead of something like the Proposal. I'd like to see 500 take it. And then of course the Hurt Locker.

But it could be worse. Could be Transformers, Megan Fox, and/or Christian Bale. Yechhhh.

Ok that's all the steam I have for now. I'm a little tired. Plus gotta save it for the Academy Awards, the ones that matter more. That article will be far more interesting and organized. You can probably see what I lean towards. (GG, be ashamed of yourselves.)