Recent thoughts

As per usual, I've been reading a lot of articles on XOJane that have gotten me thinking (nothing new).

Aside from the pages that talk about how there's no way in hell an underage girl can ever be held responsible for a sexual relationship with a 47 year old man (or any one over legal age for that matter- adults should know better) and that Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas weren't meant to last anyway, there's been two or three articles that have caught my eye dealing with the issue of long term relationships and the whole "one true love" deal.

Some of these articles (found here and here) allude to how people get caught up in LTRs with partners other than their one true loves, meaning they have ex-partners who have "gotten away" or they are not as romantically inclined towards their current partners as they think they can be.

I'll be honest- unless your names are Jack and Rose, I don't believe in the concept of there being "the one" or "soul mate". Not that I've been in many relationships to be an expert- I just see a lot of things.

Not believing in "the one" doesn't mean I don't believe in love. Oh, I firmly and justly believe in love. I believe that love- all kinds, all shapes, all sizes- completes you as a person. All relationships, no matter their seeming importance in your life, affect you, shape you, create you.

Being "in love" and loving someone can be two completely different things. A lot of people associate butterflies with being "in love"- listen, if you want that feeling of chasing butterflies, you'll spend your life chasing butterflies. The emotional roller coaster that people is often confuse for being in love because "there must be a reason I feel this way"- if you were in love and loved someone and were loved by someone, you wouldn't have to worry about the potential or the future or any of that- it should be clear as day. Someone should drive you crazy with the good they do, not with all the questions you have. Knowing someone intricately and caring about them so much that you hurt when they hurt and their dreams are something you genuinely want for him or her- that's love. Everything has its ups and downs. No relationship is perfect unless it's imperfect. Relationships are work. The things you can get through are what you choose to get through and determine how much you actually care. And none of this is "settling" for something wrong- it's finding something that works for you that you want to work for.

Keep in mind, being "in love" with someone so much that you don't care about anything or anyone else is selfish. Love is supposed to be a selfless act.